Keeping Christian in a divorce
We all struggle with something in our lives and just because we are Christians doesn’t give us a hall pass. However, it is because we are Christians that we should be able to handle our circumstances differently and that is because we have God in our corner. We have someone greater than our friends, family or in the case of divorce, our attorney. Going through a divorce can break your spirit, but it should only increase your faith, for it is God who will help you navigate the challenges it brings and bring you out of that darkness into new light.
Fear and hate can make people act in ways that make me shudder as a divorce coach. I see couples that treat each other like enemies, forget their responsibilities as parents, use children as pawns in their twisted post-divorce game with their ex, lose respect for themselves by allowing drink, excessive shopping and even random sex to take control of their common sense and sadly, lose hope. I see them embrace the feelings of hate, bitterness, resentment and a hardened heart. But how would this picture look if these couples could have approached their uncoupling in a different way, a Christian way? Well, put very simply, “What would Jesus do?”
Even in your darkest times, you can be a shining light to others. Divorce is no different. Show others how Christians get through divorce by doing it God’s way. How would He do that? Well, without a doubt, I know He would do it with compassion, love and forgiveness, with kindness and uprightness.
Let these things be your guiding light if you are facing a dark time in your life. Here are ten things that will help you divorce like a Christian:
— Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment.
— Don’t be afraid or worried; give it to God.
— Know that He has a plan for you.
— Grow deeper in your faith by prayer.
— Be a servant to others.
— Pray for His perspective on this situation and His help.
— Count your blessings every day.
— We all make mistakes but when you do, correct them; this is true repentance.
— Continue to be the mother/father God intended you to be.
— Leave any retribution to God.
In James 1:22-25, this is what he says:
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it — not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it — they will be blessed in what they do.
It still stands true in a divorce. Going through a divorce does not entitle you to throw God’s word to the curb. Continue to live by His word and find strength and, consequently, freedom in it. All things new is His promise and he will take what others have meant for your harm and turn it into good. You are no longer a slave to the fear that divorce brings, for you are a child of God. There are valleys in all our lives but when you can change your perspective and see this through God’s eyes, you will find a sense of peace that will carry you through.
The devil will try to infiltrate during this time because it is the perfect venue for him to try to do his work but if you keep your eyes and heart on God, He will use this circumstance to strengthen and grow you, not propel you backward or tear you down.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 says,
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
He has a plan for you and perhaps showing others how to divorce like a Christian is part of it.